February 25, 2009

Comet Lands Safely, Kills 1

WILMINGTON, NC -- In a stunning and completely untragic turn of events today, Comet Lunin, approaching it's closest distance from the Earth's surface, has unexpectedly landed unharmed in a local suburban backyard. Authorities were quick to the scene but even quicker to leave upon learning of the comet's well-being. 

"We're just glad the comet wasn't hurt," stated Chief of Police, Jim Deaverson. "I mean, it's not everyday a comet lands in your city. I'm honored really," Deaverson added while photographing the crash site with a cellular telephone camera. "Awesome." 
While Comet Lunin may have landed safely, an unluckier bystander was fatally smashed/combusted as the comet crashed directly on his plane of existence. Sources unanimously claim that the victim "just shouldn't have been standing there." Although this is a seemingly tragic story, Sgt. Deaverson has urged concerned citizens to overlook the sole fatality and instead focus on the "shear awesomeness" of comet crash.  

1 comment:

Billy B said...

I'm glad no heavenly bodies were hurt!

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