May 10, 2009

Everquest Online Adventure

Six years after its 2003 debut, Everquest Online Adventure is experiencing an historical resurgence in popularity. Old gamers spent endless zombie-like hours auto-running across crudely textured fields and sparsely treed forests. Everquest Online Adventures barely taxed the graphics capabilities of the Playstation 2, emphasizing repetitive unsatisfying gameplay. Spam circle when you see the monsters. Most of these players have gone on to play World of Warcraft and Everquest II which offers the same gameplay with more detailed environments. Everquest Online Adventures is finally free to play, and offers the exact same gameplay. A larger and larger number of players are switching back, finding the world is still there and in fact better than ever. By removing griefs like training (a complicated procedure where huge groups of monsters could be herded) and adding a few new areas, Everquest Online Adventures is the best choice for the millions of newly unemployed MMORPG player. In the midst of the financial melt-down, the trance-like escape that Everquest provides prevents many suicides every day. SoW please. There are stables everywhere, but never a horse in sight, dammit.

Until Everquest Online went free, the next best thing was a game called MUME, created in 1992. Mume provides all the functions of Everquest, and probably has a more detailed world. MUME has no graphics whatsoever, and emphasizes pointless repetitive monster slaying more than any other game in history.

Everquest Online Adventures boast a dynamic repertoire of character models. However, they mostly go unappreciated as the PlayStation2 does not render them fast enough and at times won't render them at all. This happens most when running through a dense, crowded area like Freeport, a desert city where all races can congregate together without violence. The game system attempts to load thirty five avatars at once and as a result, loads none of them, creating the effect of running through a ghost town when in actuality, the Freeport market has a higher population density than the Twin Towers on a Tuesday morning.


Standing still doesn't help either, for the characters only load within a circumference the equivalent of twenty real life feet, so even after everybody warps in, one barely has a general idea of who is around him/her within a sneeze's reach. Similarly, you don't know what is lurking in your colon.

Lose the addiction, lose the weight. EverCleanse yourself of EverQuest! Warning: Preceding link is Not Safe For Viewing whatsoever.

2 comments:

The Cold Hard Truth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Cold Hard Truth said...

That colon cleansing business is such a load of crap (literally). Penn & Teller have a show called "Bullshit" on Showtime, in which they show they shams for what they are. Here is a link to small clip from an episode in which they showed how colon cleansing is "Bullshit":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8uZUDuSWxI

 
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